If I don’t add my name on inherited house deed w/ brother, do I forfiet right to sale proceeds later?

Mom passed away 2yrs ago.Not very responsible bro lived/ing in house.Has not worked in 21/2 yrs-38,made me do all lawyer/bill work/I had to be administator-There were VERY large medical bills and only asset in estate 2 cars(bro wants both)house now in horrid condition assessed at 70-90k(big,could be fixed says my knowledgable husband, but bro won’t even clean.I let things linger to give my bro time for this &that,stall,couldn’t be bothered to wake up for atty meeting or to answer my calls etc-don’t want to kick him out, as lawyer said sell house-pay debts split leftover if any-this was all before we did the assessment and saw how devalued house is.-Now probate-in other state where she died is done . Attorney in that state says to deed the house asap and let him know when we do that(says once deeded to bro and/or me& bro, house is outside realm of probate) My husb. doesn’t want our name attatched to anything with my brother especially not real estate. I understand ,but I won’t sell &kick him out (even though NJ lawyer always pushed for us to just sell property & split proceeds) I can see how my brother could be negligent & not pay insurance /get sued etc & we’d get sued too. Actually I’ve told him to reinsure the house as my Mom’s policy just lapsed (they let it continue for a few months after we notified them of her death–Yes 2 yrs later- -as I never realized they were taking money from a bank acct my Mom had on auto pay all this time) I know he’ll never do it not so much because of the money but because he is just too lazy to make the phone call or do any kind of stuff like that He just consolidated the cable/phone/net and I noticed on my caller id when he called that he still left it under my father’s name who died in 2002! He just can’t be bothered to do anything but play video games and sleep. He never paid a speeding ticket 2 yrs ago and so his license is suspended so my Mom’s 2 cars just sit idle in the backyard until he decides he’s ready for me to take him to fix everything. Meanwhile I have to drive him everywhere, take him food shopping, etc. So my brother does have some greedy tendencies as well as this lazy gene- and hey I know we all get lazy sometimes . and I wonder if I don’t put my name on the deed that he will sell it and keep everything- I guess if that happens then so be it, I’ll be more upset that he could do that to me- the only family we have left is eachother but I’m really starting to resent him and his behavior and the fact that I get in fights with my husband for making excuses for him all the time. At one point he wanted me to just give up claim to my half of 401k that was our deceased Dad’s, and the house, so he could sell it and buy himself a townhouse in Fl-said he would pay me back every time he could. My brother is living off that now (I have never touched the half I received) and seems mad he has to pay house taxes but that’s still less than rent anywhere else. I could have forced sale of house but I didn’t so he could stay rent-free, unfortunately that means he must pay the quarterly bill. I think he feels I should pay half if it’s oOUR house but I work hard as a wife and mom of 2 small kids and I get up everyday for NO money so how could I anyway, and why should I if I don’t stay there and I don’t even want the house anyway? Sorry so long but very complicated and time running out and I need to know if there are any options for me to let him stay, not put myself on deed with him and still be able to lay claim to what would be mine if we sold house now. He also said something about it not being fair if he fixes house w/his money and sold it for more, then he should get all that money(I think that makes sense but my husband says no because I am"allowing him to reside there by not forcing sale and collecting my inheritance" Husband says if he were at least a little responsible and didn’t sleep all the time etc he would not have a problem with any of this and would help him again but he knows, and I suspect no work will ever get done anyway. My mom used to send him $ all the time and asked my husband to do some work on the house and fix it up w/bro but after2-3 times, bro would not even get up or come out of room and didn’t do anything at all on his own time after husband left(My husband has/had full time job as well and bro did not–again- he’s 38 yrs old–You get the picture of what I’m contending with . Laziness/irresponsibility are his problems and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t shake him out of it, my husband gets aggravated w/me making excuses for him; and now I think I’m about done making excuses and I’m aggravated too. So what would you do? Would you take a chance sharing house title with someone like that or would you take a chance giving him full title and hoping he’d do the right thing when he sells it(and he does want to do that eventually he says-always wanted to "flip it" ) If not for the fighting with my husband saying I’m

It is time for you to become disentangled from your brother and you need to do it now. Your brother has been enabled by your parents and has never grown up. It’s time to let your brother start being a grownup adult. While I understand and applaud your wish to keep peace in the family, you have no peace now! Tell your brother ( or have the attorney tell him) the estate is going to be divided NOW. Your "doctor" (me- LOL) has told you that the stress of all of this upset is not healthy for you. Take a car and whatever personal property from the house that you want (as long as it’s not more than half).
He has lived in the house rent free so all of the expenses of the house are his responsibility. If brother wants the house, he can:

1. Get a mortgage and buy you out now! or
2. Use his 401(k) proceeds to buy you out now!

If he doesn’t want the house, he can:

1. Move out within 30 days and
2. The house goes on the market.

Either way, he needs to give you $40K for your half. He has 30 days to complete the buy out or the house is going on the market and he moves out. Then you can quit claim the deed but not before you get your money. If you quit claim it now, you will never get a cent.

Do not give up anything in return for his "promises", you already know what those are worth. In the meantime, speak with the attorney for the estate or get your own attorney, if necessary, and ask about filing an "Action of Partition" on the property. A Partition, which is granted by the Judge in Court, will force the sale of the property or force your brother to pay you the value of your portion. It is a judgment which will force him to get up off his lazy butt and get you the money that you are owed for the house. If he ignores the judgment, the Sheriffs will come and put him out and the property goes up for sale. If brother gets really persnickety, he may wind up in jail for contempt. Which would be fitting because he is treating you with contempt right now and has been since this ordeal began.
Do not share title with your brother and do not give him full title until you have a certified check (although in this cash, I would rather have real cash) in your hand. I agree with your husband that you do not want ANYTHING of value tied to your brother. If he gets sued and you share property with him, they will come after you also.

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